That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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