If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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