Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize