I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
