Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
honey bunches of taint.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
