This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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