Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
