im drinking this country out of the recession.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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