tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
