I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
