Im at strip club and am horny
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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