enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
