some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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