My brain says no but my pants say off.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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