chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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