FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
