that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
