I bet he comes in French.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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