Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
