The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
