have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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