Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
