you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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