Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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