im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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