The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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