I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
