just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
