My room smells like vodka and shame
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
