Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
