one might say we're banned from that church
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
