i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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