Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
