I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
