Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize