Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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