how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
