I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
