I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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