So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
