found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
