can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
