i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
