Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize