he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
