would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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