omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
