He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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