I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
