he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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