Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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