This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
