i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
