Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
