You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
