I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
