I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
