Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
