What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
