Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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