You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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