Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
