I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sober January is a disaster.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
