it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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