Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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